REVIEW | The Dark Knight Rises

This is not Spiderman 3. It is not Iron Man 2. But this is also not very good.

The final chapter of Nolan’s Dark Knight trilogy is beautifully shot, with the cinematography and direction being superb throughout. The acting is excellent from those who have been with the trilogy throughout and even better from Hardy as Bane, JGL as the new Gary Oldman/spoiler and, best of all, Hathaway as Catwoman. These three, along with Bale, earn their moments of levity in this flick and they do so with aplomb. The major set pieces are just stunning, whether understated in the sense of the final scene involving the bomb or even the shots shown in the trailer of the bridges in the distance, or balls out crazy like that of the football stadium, they are created with the same level of detail and care.

Unfortunately everything else isn’t. There are far too many plot-holes in this movie to simply wave them off as being par for the course with a blockbuster (see another person’s excellent but spoilerific run through here for proof) but while I was sitting there in the cinema aghast at these utterly fucking bonkers moments, there are more fundamental problems. There is not a simple, central narrative to the story like those of the first films, making the entire middle section a mess. The editing is poor, even from the start where we are first introduced to Commissioner Gordon talking about Harvey Dent for a matter of seconds before cutting to Bane In A Plane for the entirety of that sequence before jumping back to Gordon talking about Dent making that initial moment entirely unnecessary. A daft nitpick but from that moment I knew that we were in for a bumpy ride. The now obligatory car chase is dumb as hell and serves absolutely no purpose. Bane is big but he is nowhere near as frightening as Joker.

This culminates in a film that, even if you were not acknowledging it as the final chapter of the series, has bigger stakes than the previous two and yet I felt nothing. No concern, no emotional tugs and no interest. It seems as though Nolan had a great many ideas for the film and, when the movie came in at over four hours, decided against cutting chunks to make it more linear and opted instead to trim, rendering the entire movie undeveloped. This not only makes it a disappointing end to the trilogy but a bad movie when considered as a stand-alone.

Verdict: Spunk

DAN

REVIEW | Killer Joe

Gratuitous, yet not at all sexual nudity. Rare but relatively brutal violence. Unpredictable characters doing unpredictable things within a narrative outline that is as old as time. It’s the story of a father and son (Hirsch and Haden Church) hiring the titular character (McConaughey) to kill their ex-wife/mother for her insurance money so that Hirsch can clear a debt with a gang. A not exactly normal but not overly bizarre plot unt Joe requests and is granted the daughter/younger sister (Temple) as sexual collateral in lieu of payment up front. From there onwards it is a difficult to pin down, twisted movie that takes elements of genres and their conventions and splatters them all over the narrative to great effect. Hirsch is fine in the ‘lead’, Temple is mesmerising as the dippy girl, Gershon reminds us that she’s not just the one we wanked over in Bound, Haden Church is the one source of hilarious light and McConaughey delivers a career best performance that bears significant comparison to that of Bale’s in American Psycho. 

This movie picks you up, shakes you around a shitload and then lobs you back out with its final shot. You will laugh and you will feel wrong doing so. You will judge characters and then find it impossible to continue doing so. You will leave the cinema unsure as to what you think and yet absolutely sure that you saw something that no one involved will ever let you un-see. And you will somehow still fancy some fried chicken. 

Verdict: Movie

DAN

REVIEW | Jaws

We have all seen Jaws and so ‘reviewing’ it seems futile. The film that invented the summer blockbuster. The film that, while not his first, announced Spielberg as a director to be taken seriously. A film that somehow became stronger because of its production issues and, along with the likes of Casablanca, is forever a defence of modern films who suffer the same setbacks and are instantly written off. Jaws is a horror film, an action movie and a drama all rolled into one that every one of my generation watched as five or six year olds and yet it never seemed inappropriate. Jaws is a movie to be celebrated for an abundance of different reasons and a true masterpiece of cinema that never seems to get the recognition it deserves despite the plaudits that it does receive.

I think that sometimes it can be hard to suggest to people to pay for a cinema ticket to see a film that you can see once a year every year on ITV at some point, but if you have never seen Jaws then do yourself a favour and see this cinematic behemoth on the big screen while you can. You almost certainly won’t see a better blockbuster on the big screen this summer.

Verdict: Movie

DAN

REVIEW | Red Lights

I really liked the trailer for Red Lights but my favourite parts are those quieter, less trailer-worthy sections of the film. This should then, in theory, make this a superb film and for the majority of it’s running time it seems destined for such, but the ending fucks it right up. Murphy and Weaver play scientists (Olsen joins them as one of their students) who aim to expose those who claim to possess supernatural powers. De Niro plays the most famous of these psychics, and Murphy takes it upon himself to investigate him despite Weaver’s pleas. Cortes showed with Buried that he is a whizz with suspense and it shows again in this movie, taking a low budget and making the most of every possible opportunity. The acting is as good as you would expect from those involved and everything seems to make this an almost Sixth Sense level chiller, until Cortes goes for a big finale that never quite convinces and seems incredibly muddled and unfocused. Still, a mighty fine movie and further proof that Cortes may well be a director to keep a very close eye on.

Verdict: Movie

DAN

REVIEW | The Pact

Nothing really happens in this flick. In the beginning I put this down to them attempting to build tension and the lack of sound and claustrophobic surroundings seemed to back that up, but then fuck all happens for the majority of the film. A few cheap scares here and there but nowt original, instead relying on a mishmash of Paranormal Activity, The Ring and others like it. The lack of spoils and the nature of those on offer make this more of a chiller than that which was hinted at in the trailer and a naff one at that. By the end of the film the only thing keeping me interested was Caity Lotz’s tits and, in fairness, they kept me mighty entertained.

Verdict: Spunk

DAN