1 June 2012

LOL

A film so bad that, despite starring America’s sweetheart Miley Cyrus, it managed to make only £46k on its opening weekend across 105 theaters in the states. Cyrus plays a girl called Lola who’s name is shortened to Lol but LOL is also a relevant title because, as the trailer tells you, ‘her friends are just going with the flow; trying to love and laugh out loud.’ I live in London and yet there are only four cinemas in, and I’m being geographically generous here, central London showing this movie. You would almost certainly have to go out of your way to see this and you’d surely have to be affected to do so.

The Angel’s Share

I didn’t like this trailer to start with and after thirty odd views over the last few months at the cinema, I can barely summon the strength to go see it. As shown in the trailer, John Naughton of GQ describes it as ‘Scotland’s answer to The Full Monty’, and this trailer seems to suggest he might not be far off. For that reason I’m not willing to say it’ll be shit but it looks dreary as balls and I’m really bored of English films being so fucking grey.

Prometheus

I’m one of the few who finds the entire Alien series underwhelming and Prometheus does little to change my mind. Slow start, strong middle and an ending that never knows when enough is enough. Read my review here.

Snow White and the Huntsman

A beautifully shot film ruined by a mix of poor characterisation and, to a lesser extent, Kristen Stewart being Kristen Stewart. Read my review here.

My Pick: Can’t go too wrong or too right with either Snow White and the Huntsman or Prometheus

DAN

REVIEW (from someone who doesn’t like the Alien series) | Prometheus

I find the Alien series to be incredibly overrated. Granted I have only ever seen Alien and Aliens and saw both of those only a month ago, but I found them slow, uneventful and lacking any real excitement. Alien seemed like an average sci-fi movie mixed with an average horror flick while Aliens was the same but with the additional average action sequences too. I wanted to like it, but I ended up drifting off. The same can largely be said of Prometheus. The beginning is slow and pretty uneventful, the middle is kind of awesome and the climax goes on so long it begins to hurt. Fassbender is incredible and Noomi Rapace is compelling and they manage to make this a film that I will return to despite my doubts that even the most devout Alien worshippers out there will give this a podium finish at best for the series.

Verdict: Movie

DAN

  • Next week we will have a review from someone who gives a shit about the series.