REVIEW | Joyful Noise

It’s hard to find moments in this film that are palatable. If it’s not some sub-Sister Act gospel crap that, unsurprisingly, gets too religious too quick, then it’s them singing some sub-Glee pap made even worse by those singing it being uggos in comparison to the Glee kids. In between all of the far too sincere bellowing we get a succession of sassy one-liners with a few storylines pinned on them. The kids aren’t hot, the songs aren’t cool and are played in their entireties, and the screenplay seems amateur as fuck. Much like LOL however, I found myself laughing at the shitness far too often for me to see it as a contender for my ten worst of the year.

Instead we should all just forget that this exists.

Verdict: Spunk

DAN

DREAM THAT THIS FILM IS A LOT FUCKING QUIETER

Never have I longed for a film to be called Silence Is Golden as much as this one. As though Glee 3D wasn’t bad enough, we get same film but with the hotter, younger actresses replaced with Dolly Parton and Queen Latifah. Fuck that, there will be no Noise and far too much fucking Joyful-ness for me.

Here are seven noises that would still fill me with more joy than this film:

7.

6.

5.

4.

3.

2.

1.

I’ll still be watching this shit though unfortunately.

DAN